What Happened?
by JohnnycakesCade
Summary: 1st fanfict- DLY-JNY alive! What happens when the gang starts to treat him more 'friendly? and he gets jumped; again? JohnnyxOC's warnings @ top of ch. 1 discontinued unless I get bored one day and feel like I can magically add more to this!
1. whats the deal?

My first fanfict- yay! so excuse me if it's sucky, but hey, I enjoyed writing this so far anyways (:

and sorry if theres bad grammer and if it's hard to follow- but I'm working on that stuff now

And thanx to all of ya who gave me adivice- i'm working on using it- my bro's dont let me on the computer much tho... but thanksssss (:

Warnings: later may be sexual content. Cursing involved. Dramatic scenes... eventually... thanks fer reading!

**(Johnny's POV)**

After the trial, I was found innocent, well, acquitted or whatever that is called- thank glory- I almost passed out waiting for an answer. Dally had SAVED me. DALLAS WINSTON. Sounds pretty strange, right? But, I knew all along that he actually cared about me, especially when he TOLD me right in front of Pony... he pulled me out of that church JUST before it caved in.

I got out of the hospital last month- I had burned my arms and got a bunch of bruises, and Dally had only burned one of his, but we were okay. Ponyboy was okay also, he bruised his back up a bit though, but hey, he's okay. That's all that matters.

Anyways, the gang has been actin' real strange... and I dunno why all of a sudden... it's drivin' me CRAZY. Not to mention that now that I live with the Curtis's, the rooms got all switched 'round. Since Pony and Darry had solved their problems- they share a room. Me and Soda share a room now. I kept getting nightmares bout that fire, everytime somebody else would get burned with me, it got so bad that somebody had to sleep with me.

It's real tuff an' all, but he don't know how to keep it clean- at all. But he's always workin at the DX anyways, so I cant blame him or nuttin'. Back to the gang thing; well, Two-Bit is being Two-Bit, and he's always being drunk, but he keeps touching me! ya hear? touching me! I mean, really, what the heck? He's not ALWAYS drunk, and I know that! Golly, that guy is sooo strange sometimes... But he's always watchin' Mickey still, and singing 'Hey Mickey'. Sometimes I wonder if he hit his head on something when he was little; something HARD.

I'm not talking about the 'Mickey obsession' thing. 'Cause I like Mickey, too. I'm just not _as_ obsessed with it like Two-Bit is. I swear, his life is made of three things. Mickey, Beer and Cake. But that's Two-Bit for ya'...

Now, onto Ponyboy. We've been friends ever since, well, forever, like when I first moved here. He won't even look me in the eyes no more! Everytime I look at him he turns the other way and acts like nuttin' happened, I saw him blush once, but maybe it's just me an' my imagination. And I can feel him staring at me all the time! I mean WHOA. Am I going dilusional?

Steve is acting like he does to Pony, either mean or ignoring me. He's always glaring at me when Soda ain't lookin' and he's always finding a way to make me wrong with what I'm doing, or saying. Admitively, I do a lot of stuff wrong, but most of the time it's on purpose and for fun... and I dont talk much still, but hey, that ain't my fault. I shouldn't talk at all if it were up to me, I used to say things wrong all the time, and I dont wana start cursing a bunch or nuttin- even though I do in my mind, but I try not to talk like that. I try to agree with whatever ev'ryones talkin 'bout.

Soda, Soda, Soda... glory he's always keepin Two-Bit outa my face for me and he tries to pull me into their conversations at the DX. Literally. He puts his arm around me and pulls me over there... He's not into girls no more, and that kinda scares me. He always _used_ to talk about them, and his girlfriend, but she left- Soda took it pretty hard. But now Soda's over it. Good thing- she was seriously a whore. -well excuuuse my language...

Dally. Yup, on to Dally. He's still getting into fights, and trouble, but he ain't in the cooler yet. Surprizing- really! But he's getting closer to me, like, well, its hard to explain. But he actually _tries _to see me every day. He always asks me to go places with him and stuff- it's nice. And it's not like he's being like Two-Bit going all 'sexual- lets get into bed' stuff. He's being better 'bout stuff like that.

Lately, I've been seeing Tim Shephard around. I hope he doesn't find Dally- or me- well, I wouldn't mind, he doesn't try to hurt me or nuttin. He's okay of a guy if yer on his good side. But if he finds me with Dally; that'll be a problem. They're friends, but they fight for every damn thing in the world! For no reason sometimes, too!

Well, time to start the day I suppose...


	2. whata' day

I tried to fix all the stuff I messed up- but I might've missed some- so bare with me here, I'm still new at this (:

**(still Johnny's POV)**

Today, I dunno why. But I'm real mad. I just am, it's really strange. But I don't care. I wana punch something SO hard. 'Ughh... better get up' I thought to myself. I was wearing no shirt, and plaid pants, I wear them to bed all the time. I love them, they're way too big so I always gota' pick 'em up and tie the knot tighter, but they're comfy. Not today. Now I'm mad at my PANTS. Glory, how am I gona get through this day if I hate my own pants!? And, I gota listen to Darry's little talk like I do all the time... about 'eating normal'.  
Darry looked at me as I sat down across from him and next to Pony. Sure enough-

"You've gotta' eat more! Lookit' you! You're practically annorexic, Pony's bigger than you! I'll bet you don't even fit his clothes!"

Here we go... I kinda zoned out after that, I poured half the bottle of chocolate syrup in my chocolate milk- here we go _again. _But thank glory, it was only Soda.

"Aww, comeon' Johnny! Save me some! Dare, lay off, he's eating..."

I sighed and kept mixing my chocolate milk till Pony asked,

"Is there somthin' wrong Johnny?"

I didn't mean to, but I gave him a cold glare, like Dally always does, and kept mixing it.

"Johnny, whatsa' matter?"

Soda asked. I groaned and stuffed a bunch of eggs in my mouth. Darry looked at me funny when I leaned my elbow on the table and leaned my head in my hand.

"Johnny... is this because of me?" Darry asked sounding concerned.

I didn't want him to be mad or sad or anything, so I just said,

"No..."

"Well, what _is_ buggin you?"

"Nothing..."

"Johnny..."

"Nothing..."

"Johnny, what is it?"

"Nothinggggg..." I said in a whiney voice.

Steve barged in the door... "C'mon Soda, we're gona be la-"

He stopped and looked at Darry. He was supposed to be gone I guess.

"Well, I see it's a late day, Darry"

"S0omething is wrong with Johnny- he wont tell me"

"DARRY NOTHING'S WRONG." I yelled, even surprizing myself.

I needed to punch something. Like maybe Darry's head... No. That's stupid. And wrong... ughh... I dropped my fork on my still food covered plate, and I stomped off to my room and slammed the door behind me. I jumped on my- and Soda's- bed and looked out the window; as soon as Darry's and Steve's cars were gone. Pony was at my door.

"Johnny, can I come in?"

"Yeah..." I agreed.

"What was that all 'bout?" he asked getting all right-up-to-the-point.

"I dunno... not in a good mood..."

"Oh... well, we're gona go to the DX later so we can tell Soda you ain't mad at them, they're all freaking out and stuff..."

"I-I-I didn't mean to yell or nuttin... I ain't mad at them. I just am."

"oh, alright. as long as you're okay."

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm gona take a shower now..."

"Okay" Pony said as he left the room.

Glory, the things I do just _have_ to make things worse... I grabbed a towel from the closet and jumped in the shower. Damn soap- Okay, so I even cursed out my soap, it smells like a tropical breeze and today, I dont feel tropical or breezy- and I have to use a lot of it 'cause of the amount of hair grease I use in the first place. I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked into my room.

Perfect. Just perfect. I'm gona wear my old ripped-up-skinny jeans today, so much for my other ones that I like so much... I put em' on; They actually fit me better than my other ones. Maybe this won't be so bad of a day. I put on a black t-shirt, but it wasn't plain. On the back there's a picture of a bow and arrow crossing each other, but I'll wear my blue-jeans jacket over it anyways.

I got dressed and started to dry my hair with the towel- it'd end up being a hat day. I could tell.

Just then, I heard Two-Bit.

"Heyyyyy, JOHNNY!" he said as he lifted my up by my waist.

"Two-bit! Leme fix my hair!" I argued kinda pissed off.

"Aww, no! it's sexy!"

"TWO-BIT."

"Johnnycakes!!" he said as he carried me into the other room.

"Put me down!"

"Okay, okay. When we get to the DX! Lets go!"

"But my hair!"

"It's still sexy, dont worry!" he said smiling at me like a chessy cat. Pony had followed us down the street- I was argueing with Two-Bit the whole time.

"I can't be seen in public with my hair looking so lousy and all wet!"

"Awww come on!" he said pouting at me, and I pouted right back.

"Lookit! The DX! It's right there!" Two-Bit said happily. I groaned and finally Two-Bit put me down. I was cursing in my head, or so I thought anyways...

"WHOA. Cool it, Johnny!! Never heard you talk like that, Darry'd kill ya' if he heard that!"

I looked up to see who said that- Soda. "Sorry Soda..." I said looking at my shoes.

He slung a oil-covered rag over his shoulder and put his hand on my shoulder.

"C'mon Johnny what's wrong?"

"Nothing- just, not in a good mood is all. Sorry I yelled at ya'll this morning..." he gave me a tight squeeze.

"It's okay, just wanted to make sure we didn't do nothin' wrong and to see yer' okay."

I gave him a half smile and went back to looking down at my shoes. I leaned against the gas pump like I always do and watched them have a lil' conversation. But just as I was starting to zone out into my little dream-land, like Pony does all the time- Soda put his arm around my waist and pulled me into their conversation.

"So, we're talkin' bout what ya think'd make a totally tuff fuel in a car... whada ya think?"

"BEER!" Two-Bit shouted with excitement.

"CHOCOLATE SYRUP!" Soda yelled with just as much enthusiasm.

"Pony, Johnny, whata ya'll think?"

"Hows bout... normal syrup!" Pony said smiling happily with his decision.

I didn't give it much thought really- it's common sence. "Gasoline, if it was anythin else it wouldn't run anyways." I said.

Steve said "Don't you wana' use yer imagination kid?"

I mumbled back "don't you wana fall in a hole..." I was sure he didn't hear it, but I guess I was wrong.

"WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY TO ME, WISE ASS!?"

"You should know unless you're deaf." I said back coldly.

I did feel like a wise ass, but who cares. Too bad my switchblade's at the house... dammit. That could've gotten me out of this.

"Kid, you just earned this-" he went to punch me, but Soda stopped him.

"No! Steve, he's having a bad day, leave 'im alone!"

I was pissed. Steve tried to punch me! This day sucks. I huffed out a breath and said "Be home later. Bye." And with that I stomped off down the street- to go look at the shops and what not in town.

I was looking in the window of a store, but I was on the curb of the sidewalk. I was kinda' day dreaming- until I heard "GREASER!" A carload of Socs yelled as the almost ran me over. They drove away laughing like idiots. 'At least they didn't get outa the car' I thought to myself trying to be positive. I started walking again, and when I turned the corner... what a perfect way to top off my day... even if it is only 2:00...


	3. suprize surprize

Still being new at this and stuff- hah- but thanks for the tips and stuff peoplee- I appreciate it (:

**(Johnny's POV still!)**

Here we go. I turned the corner to see about TEN, not seven, eight or nine, but as LEAST ten socs standing there. What a great day to have my switchblade at home, and walking the streets; alone.

"Hey, greaser, whacha' doing all by yourself?" One of them said smiling slyly.

"yeah, thats dangerous..." another said. I decided to be smart for once in this day, I turned around, and RAN.

"Oh... FU-" I stopped myself from cursing, I decided that that'd be stupid also.

One of them caught my arm, they had a tight grip that I couldn't escape, I could even feel the bloodflow to my arm stop. They all shoved me into an allyway- it's hard to believe, but the alleys are dark even during the day. One of them lifted me up by the collar of my shirt and jacket and pinned me against the wall- my feet dangling in the air almost a foot and a half from the ground. I couldn't breathe, so I did the first thing I could think of, I kicked him in a place-guys-dont-really-like-to-be-kicked, and he dropped me while muttering curses.

The others had me pinned down in a heartbeat, with blades at my throat and sides, smiling dangerously. One of them was sitting on my chest- and he was HEAVY. 'fat ass' I thought to myself- but he wasn't fat at all, it was all muscles.

"aww, ya know, that wasn't nice for a filthy greaser to do" one of them said as he pressed harder on the side of my throat with the blade.

I managed to get one arm free and I punched the guy right in the nose- I tried to take his blade, but a suprizing sharp pain in my other arm told me otherwise. I let out a yelp as the guy I kicked moments ago, had a big peice of pipe and gave me a few blows in the ribs and head a few good, agonizing times.

Somebody had ripped my shirt with a blade and left a few large, deep gashes starting by my shoulder, and being dug down into my skin, and dragged almost all the way down to my waist. I embraced the pain- I could feel the blood pouring out from my flesh- remember what dad always said... "if it hurts, get the fuck over it you peicea' shit, it ain't gona go away just like fuckin that!"... admitively that didn't help much, but he was right, it couldn't just go away- it'd linger on for hours, days, weeks... depending how severe it is.

I finally realized I had no chance in winning. I felt the cool metal press down, hard, into my right shoulder, and being dragged down my arm to my elbow- I heard them break a bottle. 'oh no...' I thought, knowing what was coming. I felt the glass peirce my skin and burrow into it around my stomach- I gasped when they began to turn it.

One guy was whispering things to me... "We aint gona kill ya; We're gona let ya suffer. We're gona find yer family an friends and..." his voice trailed off as I felt a blade slash my same cheek with the scar a good three times, like as if a friggin' tiger slashed me with it's big ol' claws.

My eyes grew suddenly heavier until I was no longer able to open them even if I had tried. I heard their cruel laughter as they kicked me and stepped on me, I felt my blood practically drain away from me and onto the paved ground of the alley.

Nobody could find me, I'd die here, alone.  
Darry thinking I'm mad at him,  
being a waste of breath to Steve... Steve... stupid Steve, this was all his fault.  
And Pony's. If Pony didn't let Two-Bit force me to go to the DX I'd be fine.  
And if Darry hadn't been so stupid, I wouldn't have yelled at him.  
Maybe I should die. Maybe I should.  
NO.

I argued with myself- remembering Soda and Dally...

Hang in there till they find you...  
if they care, they will find you...  
You love them, you idiot, stay alive!

'So tired... dizzy... throbbing... urhh...' I thought as darkness had finally taken over.


	4. Stay down, GET UP

Still workin on my spelling, grammer, capitalization and all that- lol

-oh and I know that some of the characters would never do some things like they did- like Johnny yelling and talking more than usual- but I wanted to make a lil' experiment, ya dig? (:

**(Soda's POV)**

I hope Johnny's okay, him being mad an' all. Then he pissed off Steve and Steve tried to punch him... probably not too good for him on a day like today. I'm still wondering if something's bothering him... or WHAT is bothering him so much.

I'll have to talk to him about it when I get off work, but I can't be thinking about him all day... with that curly-ish jet black hair, smooth tanned skin, cherry-smoothie'd lips, that smile that he barely ever shows- it's so contagious, and those big hopeful dark eyes...

'Quit thinking about him! I just said I wouldnt!' I scolded myself as I realized we were very busy today.  
'But what I would do just to see him smile right now...' I thought dreamily.

After Johnny left to who-knows-where, almost ten cars came in! Busy day, busy day, here I come... back to work. Two-Bit and Pony went home- apparently Mickey was on, and Two-Bit needed somebody to be there in case he needs something 'important'. A.K.A. beer and cake.

It was such a busy day, and lemme tell ya, I was beat. So I headed home in the car, stumbled in the door, and practically passed out on the couch. I woke up when somebody was tapping my shoulder. "Oh, c'mon lil' buddy, get up. Dinner time..." it was Darry. I got up lazily and sat at the table in my usual spot. I noticed something was missing... then it hit me...

"Johnny! Where is he?" I asked finally awake and realizing my surroundings. Pony looked at me funny and said,  
"He didn't come home all day- not even for lunch..." I sighed and Darry said "Well, he better get home soon, it's getting dark."

But of course, Darry was first to loose his mind when it was after curfew- 12:00 in our house- and he still didn't come home. We gave it another hour and time for Darry to pace the room a whole bunch, then I began to loose _my_ mind. Johnny's always on time; or early!

We called up the gang, finally, and went out to go look for him. We checked every street, park, alley and bench for him, or so I thought. We peeked in an alleyway, there was a motionless hump that you could hardly see, at the end of it. Darry decided to check it out,

'Please dont be Johnny, oh please dont by my Johnny...' I begged in my mind. The closer we got the more blood there was on the ground and walls- I could feel myself fighting back all my tears. My lungs grew tighter and my heart turned to ice and sank as Darry dropped to his knees beside it.

'It really was Johnny... no... he can't be... No! He can't be gone! He CAN'T be!' I argued with what I was thinking and what I truely wanted to think.

Darry lifted him up- he was limp _beyond_ limp... If that's even possible. He lifted him from under his armpits giving him a shake "Johnnycakes?"  
no answer.  
"Johnny? canya' hear me?"  
Darry said as he shook him a bit harder again. This time, to my RELIEF, I heard him groan.

'He's okay, he's gona be fine, he's alive and breathing' I convinced myself.

Darry held him against his shoulder and said "it's ok, we got you"

"D-D-D-Darry?" he said in barely a whisper

"Yeah, be quiet, we're takin ya home" He groaned again as Darry lifted him up from his back and from behind his knees.

We raced to the car, Steve and Darry in the front- Darry driving- and the rest of us squeezed into the back seats. I held Johnny on top of me, he was cut up like hell, like something out of a horror film. It hurt me so much just to look at him- I love Johnny, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for him, and here he is, cut to bits; and I wasn't there for him...

His shirt was torn up to the point of not even HAVING a shirt! He was gasping and whimpering the whole time and by the time we were home he was crying, too. Not to mention you can't see the _actual_ colors of his torn up shirt and pants- it was all stained red with blood. Steve was being an ass- Johnny is half conscious and looks like he's dying and Steves saying,

"Shut it! If it hurts good for you. We know it does, so fuckin shut it! Be happy your sorry ass is still alive."  
That sure didn't help, and even though Steve IS my best buddy, he was being a bitch to my darling- Johnny. We told him not to come back if he's gona talk like that to Johnny again, and he left loping out of the house muttering things.

Johnny looked worse in the light. There really wasn't much a shirt left- but Darry took it off anyway. I sat in back of Johnny so his head rested on my lap and I started wiping off his face. Darry was workin' on his chest and stomach which looked like HELL. H-E-L-L. HELL.

Johnny gasped and jumped when Darry touched his stomach and chest "Darry- careful..." Johnny managed to whisper between sobs and clenched teeth. Pony went to bed, I forced him to. I didn't want him to see Johnny like this, I could hardly stand it and I almost puked when I saw him this cut up. Dally and Two-Bit were pacing back and forth, and Dally was swearing black and blue.

Darry wiped off most of the blood from his chest and we could see what they did to him- he had large deep gashes all over, glass was in some cuts around his stomach, and it was black and blue ALL over him- I took one of the ice packs that weren't being used and pressed it on the side of his head that had most of the cuts and bruises. He whimpered and I started combing through his hair. There still wasn't grease in it, and it was really soft, silky and shiny- and the curls looked so cute, he wore so much grease all the time I never realized it was that curly... but he had a lot of cuts and bruises there, too.

"Shhh... baby it'll be okay now. We gotcha now... shhh..." I said as I noticed he was crying harder again.  
"Th-there were too m-many of em S-s-soda..." he said as he gasped- Darry had almost finished putting gauze around his chest.  
"Shshshshh baby, I know, I know- they're gone now, and you're home. you're safe."

Darry wrapped his arms in gauze and then we helped him sit up. He was trying not to cry- you could tell.  
"Shh, Johnnycakes, it's okay"  
Darry said wrapping his arms around him and pulling him onto his lap. Johnny finally broke and started bawling into Darry's shirt. We just stood there a minute- then we started to pick up the towels and first aid kit and put it all away.

When we finished putting it away- well, we didn't _want_ to put it away, but I was trying to find out something to do to keep my mind off of Johnny till Darry let _me_ hold him, and the others followed me- but anyway we put it away and Darry and Johnny hadn't moved. Johnny must've been terrified, he was shaking like a leaf and bawling- in fact he never even opened his eyes.

Dally wasn't even mumbling curses anymore- not by a longshot- he was practically yelling. "JUST WAIT TILL I GET AHOLD OF THOSE SHITHEAD SOCS THAT FUCKIN DID THAT. I'M GONA MAKE EM WISH THEY WERE DEAD- THOSE BASTARDS..." He went on swearing at the top of his lungs for awhiles.

I finally took Johnny away from Darry- Darry has work tomorrow anyway and can't afford to miss any day of work, and I'm going to have to go also. That sucks. I dont wana leave Johnny alone hurt- well, actually I dont wanta' be away from him for a single second, but hey, he's really hurt and scared now and I wana be there to hold him and tell him it'll be okay.

Now I can start to see why Johnny was like that this morning. Maybe he knew it'd be a bad day in the back of his mind or something. Whatever Pony told me it was... like, I think, subconscious? But I'm not sure... And _some_ of it _is_ Darry's fault- but he works too hard and long to be thinking much of what he's doing.

He was worried about Johnny when he starting talking about killing himself again, and took away his switchblade. But if Steve didn't yell at him like that he wouldn't have even gone down the street. Well, it's all okay now. Even if some of it was each of our faults...

We settled down and I held Johnny all night till he fell asleep- Dally and Two-Bit fell asleep on the couch and floor. and Darry was off in his room... Johnny was cuddled up to me with drying tear streaks on his face; he was adorable. 'I hope I can get him for my own someday... and I hope he'll be okay tomorrow; I doubt it; poor poor baby... I love him...' I thought to myself as I drifted off myself.


	5. they think what?

Ya know what I'm gona say- still working on my whole story-skills and all... and attempting to make your reading experience easier- so if ya have tips or something then send me a review? saavy?

(late) P.S. I dedicate this whole story to my BFFs cause they wanted me to, lol- hugs&kissez to ya's 3's all around! (:

AND. thanks to you's who helped me and gave me tips already!

**(Ponyboy's POV)**

Soda wanted me to go to bed- first of all it was late, and I dont think he wanted me to see Johnny. He looked just as bad as the first time he got badly jumped, if not, then worse. I didn't get to see him much- it was dark in the alley, and in the car, and as soon as I walked in the door... "Pony, please go to bed- g'nite"

'That's my ba- I mean, my buddy- aw heck, forget it, he is my baby and _will_ be mine! Anyways, he's in there! How could I possibly sleep tonight!' I thought as I paced back and forth listening to Dally shouting curses. Golly, I wish I could do that right about now... I wana kill those socs, but if Johnny didn't stand a chance, neither would I.

Who would beat up somebody like that! Big dreamy eyes, soft jet black hair, that too-skinny-for-a-sixteen-year-old body, who loves to watch the stars go by and is quiet beyond anything... and you can NEVER forget that look he gets when he doesn't get what he wants, it's, I SWEAR, irrisistable! Even DALLY gave in to that, it's the cutest thing- I wish I could share a room with him instead of Soda. But I love them both- Soda as a brother and Johnny as, well, way more than a brother should be.

It's driving me CRAZY. I finally gave up pacing- my feet hurt... and I lyed face down on the bed. I fell asleep dreaming about Johnny and what was going on in the other room. I barely woke up for a second when Darry came into the room and jumped on the bed with a big sigh lying next to me.

"Dare-"

"Yeah?" he said. He sounded real tired...

"Is Johnny okay?" He put his arm over my shoulder,

"Yeah- just spooked and stuff..." I could tell he was lying. He gets this tone in his voice and says 'and stuff'.

"Darry... are you lyeing to me?" He let out a big sigh.

"Well, I'm not lyeing about him being spooked, but he's real cut up too, and he passed out after we started cleaning him up. But he's fine, and Soda's with him. Soda won't let anything happen to him. Don't worry so much..."

I decided that what he said was true- and Johnny could take anything. He can- I know it. He always had, he'd taken beatings every day, being yelled at, whippings, being pushed around, dealing with lies of him... yeah. He's been through a lot, and he never once lost his cool about it... well, okay, he has. But he can take it. I know it. Especially the way everyone had treated him when he first moved here... here's the story...

--

It was a few years ago- I was nine, Darry was fifteen, Soda was twelve. Steve was Soda's best buddy- he hung around the house a whole bunch. Dally was still as bad, but my mom always convinced him not to be _as_ bad as he turned out to be... but he did cuss everytime she turned around... anyway, it was a warm day- Dad and us were all playing football.

I was on Dad's team, and Soda's. Steve, Dally and Darry were on the opposite team. We were losing, of course. So we were playing, Darry dove to get the ball, and noticed some kid (A.K.A. Johnny) limping on the other side of the feild- going the opposite direction of us.

"Who's that?" he asked.  
"There was a house fer sale down the road- maybe hes the new neighbor" Dad said.  
"Ehh, meet 'im later..." Dally said coolly.

It's custom for Dally to jump the new kid, to see how tough they are or something. I thought it was mean, I normally wouldn't just say 'mean' but considering I was nine, I said stuff like that all the time.

We continued playing football and noticed the kid was gone, since we didnt know him at that moment- whatever, we couldn't really care less at the time. Two-Bit came over then, he was fourteen and just as much of a hysteric joker.

"HEY YA'LL!" he said as he did a cartwheel towards us, then laughing like a madman... typical. "didja hear about the new kid?" we all looked at eachother and said in unison,  
"No, what about 'im?"  
"Word on the street is he's been in jail more than any gang of greasers combined. He's a bad kid, Pony I'd be real careful to stay away from him if I was you." I just agreed, seeing as though Two-Bit was kinda scaring me...

We all went home, except Dally, he went out to who-knows-where. We were just hanging around the house till' it was time for bed- it was a good day if you ask me, except for that kid. I didn't think I could sleep knowing there was a kid who's been in jail more times than I thought possible on the same street as me... I started wondering what he did to get in jail...

I fell asleep after that, without a dream or anything. It was weird not having dreams...

**(Dally's POV) +still in flashback+**

I left the Curtis's house to find the new kid- kinda' like his, 'initiation' for being here. So I was walkin down the street looking for 'im. He's gona be an easy win, just looking at him from far away. He looked real skinny and weak if you ask _me_... or anyone that's actually smart- street smart- like Tim Shepard. He's smart like that, he would've pounded him just like I will. This'll be fun, I get a chance to try out my new blade also... and scare the livin' shit outa a kid! Great! Now all's I gota do is find a place to crash tonight and I'll have a good day... hah yeah right, any day I get into a fight and win is a good day.

Luckily, I didn't have to go too far to find him, he was walking down the street in the opposite direction, watchin' his shoes. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, just like any other greaser. And he had LOADS of hair grease in his hair, I HATE hair grease, the stuff is so stupid... just like the kid to be walkin' all by 'imself down the dark street with nothing by his side but an empty lot with only a few street lamps.

I cracked my knuckles and made sure my blade was handy. The kid was just about to pass me, so I grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy."  
I said with a dangerous tint in my voice.

"Whatcha' doing out here by yerself?"

He looked scared and stood there a second, he was very quiet- "umm..."

I took a step closer in front of him, so I was practically over him.

"Whats a new kid's ass doing out here this late? You could get hurt"  
I said glaring at him and smiling dangerously. I saw him try to turn and run, so I grabbed his collar of his shirt.

"Soo... tryin' to run, now?" I said as I dragged him in the lot, till we were engulfed in darkness.  
"NO. WHAT TH-" I cut him off by kicking him in the stomach and letting him drop onto the ground.

I flipped out my switch and I saw him try to get up- I tackled him back down and sat on his chest. I put the blade up to his throat.

"One more move like that, and yer gona end up dead, kid!" He didn't move an inch or say anything. I slid the blade across his throat lightly- I wasn't going to actually kill the kid, maybe get him real mad or scared or something. But it gave him a nice lookin' cut.

"Whata' ya want." he said coldly, yet scared.

"Hey, kid. If you dont know this yet, is that you NEVER. NEVER talk back to me."

I gave him a slash on his arm, a fairly deep one, just so he knows not to talk to me like that. Next time he does, I swear I'm gona- I was cut off by one of his fist, he punched me in the side of my head- hard for that kid anyways. He jumped to his feet, and he ran. Like he was on the fuckin track team or something.

I tackled him and he landed face down into the ground. "I dont know WHO you think you are. Fuckin shithead.." I went on cursing him out and I gave him a long cut on his back- starting at his left shoulderblade, going down to his right side. He started breathing faster as I gave him a few more, just so he knew I ment business. I gave him the chance to fight me back, I let him go and he took a big ol' swing at my head. I ducked, but then he kicked me in the stomach, knocking me down.

I forced him back down after that- okay, so this kid could fight if he WANTS to, but he ain't TERRIFIED of me yet, just a little scared. I pinned him down and started beating him senceless. I thought that was funny- he tried to fight back but couldn't. I finally quit when he didn't try fighting back anymore. He just layed there breathing heavily and gasping once in a while.

"Dont forget, kid. Dallas Winston. Don't be messin wit' me no more."

I walked away laughing to myself. I took one look at him after that and realized his looks... Other than those cuts and bruises I know I gave him, he had a bunch I _didn't_ give him. He kept his eyes closed and didn't move an inch- other than his breathing. His hair was darker than the way the black benches do in the night time- it was gleaming with blood though. I thought that was funny. I did good. I gave myself a pat on the back a walked away.

--

**(Pony's POV)**

So, you see, he has always had it rough. And he never found out that Dally was the one who beat him that night- and Dally said that it wasn't Johnny. I think he's just lieing, but he's really good at that, so I wasn't sure if he _was_ right or not.

I woke up early, unable to sleep for more than a couple of hours. I wiggled away from Darry and I walked into the other room to check on Johnny- I was scared for him. I wish I could protect him from those damn socs, but I can't be with him 24/7, I sure wish I could though... Soda had his arm around him on the couch with a blanket over them. I could see the white gauze that covered him- though he was wearing one of Soda's button-down shirts, you could still see it, and on his arms too.

What was worst of all was his face... helpless looking, pale everywhere except his cheeks- which were flushed a cute rosey pink color. I have to admit that was amazingly adorable, but still, he had a few bandaid's covering some cuts and, most likely just for now, a peice of gauze with tape around it on his cheek. I hope they didn't cut him real bad... please, glory, not _again_...

I stared jelously at the two- Soda was holding Johnny real close, probably because Johnny was crying... hell I know, he was. Being jumped that first time was enough to make him cry, but a second time? Golly, I know he's going to do something about it... I hope he doesn't loose his cool again... after we finally realized what he was capable of doing, and talking like! He can talk just as bad as Dallas if he's really mad...

'Just wait till he wakes up,  
don't be jelous of Soda,  
don't worry about Johnny,  
Get some sleep-  
school and track tomorrow...'

I kept telling myself over and over as I walked back down the hallway to my room. 'He's going to do something bad... I just know it... but what? I couldn't tell you right now... I've got no idea...'


	6. Next day

Still working on stuff- working on making chapters readable and such... (:

Sorry for the bad spelling and grammar-

A/N- what Johnny is going to do is on a **2 chapter cliffhanger **as of now. I'm still working on it... AND I'm real busy with schoolwork right this week- so I'll get ch. 7 up as SOON AS I CAN. (Maybe by Friday night if I can-) so hang in there! I didn't forget or nuttin! (:

ch.6...

**(Soda's POV)**

I woke up considerabley late- okay, very late. Late for work. Steve was shaking my arm and buggin' me to wake up.

"Wake up lazy!!" he said shaking me till I almost accidentaly let go of Johnny.  
"Steve! I'm up! How late am I?" I said a bit worriedly- I didn't want my boss to be mad at me... It's bad enough Johnny is hurt and all upset...  
"Late. Very. Let's go!" he said as I carefully got up, leaning Johnny against the couch.

He still looked terrible- and I doubt he slept well, he had bags under his eyes. But his breathing wasn't hard anymore- it was light and a bit shallow.

I grabbed my uniform. I was about to run out the door- but something stopped me. I turned around to look at Johnny. Leaving him right then was the HARDEST thing I had ever done. I looked at him with a look of concern and sadness. I reluctantly left, with Steve having to drag me by my arm out the door.

And then, regretting it as soon as I got to the DX.

'I shouldn't have left him...'

'I coulda' taken the day off...'

'Why on EARTH did I leave him!?'

My mind thought nothing of Johnny. I wasn't good with the cars today- Steve had to HELP me with almost everything to make sure I didn't bust a car... What am I going to do?

**(Pony's POV)**

I woke up again, for the fifth time at least. But this time, it was actually time to get up. Darry was gone- as well as Soda. Dally and Two-Bit were sleeping. Johnny was also- but nobody was with him; you know, like, next to him.

I decided that he wouldn't want to be alone when he wakes up- and it's a chance for me to actually put my arm around him without anyone thinking something's up. I sat next to him, and careful not to hurt him, I put my arm around his shoulder and let him lean on me.

It hurt for me to look at him in all that gauze and all those bandages- although, Soda probably was right- the fact that he made me leave the room before I saw Johnny. I might've passed out or something.

I can't stand to see anyone I know; _especially_ Johnny; being that badly hurt and cut up. I don't know WHAT I'd do if I saw him like that again...

Being around Johnny is almost as addicting as drugs- that quietness he tends to hold onto, his smile and laugh, the way he loves affection, the way he leans on you when you hold him, and even the way he plays football. I don't exactly know how I fell in love with my best friend, but I don't mind. In fact, I'm happier than I was when I only liked him as a friend. I like it this way.

But it's hard not to stare at him; that's the problem. He's just too amazingly adorable to ignore. And everytime he looks at me, it's impossible to just look him in the eyes- I always end up looking the other way- avoiding to catch the gaze of those big, dark, suspicious, sensitive eyes.

But I can look at him now without anyone telling me not to. He's sound asleep with his head rested on my shoulder. I couldn't help but to stare at him. He's just too irresistable, I couldn't begin to tell you how hard it is _not_ to stare...

He made a little noise in his throat and stirred in his sleep. He slowly and tiredly opened his eyes.

"Johnny, you ok?" I asked referring to last night

"Yeah... What happened?" he asked sounding confused.

"Darry said you passed out when he was cleanin' you up"

"oh" he said.

I guess he just realized how close we were and all, cause' he blushed and moved in the opposite direction a little bit. 'His blush is so cute...' I thought to myself smiling on the inside.

"Johnny, yer awake" Dally said looking relaxed in his seat.

Johnny cracked that half smile- half frown. "y-yeah" he stammered.

"Who did that? Didja' know 'em?"

"No. Just Socs."

"Those damn Socs. One day they're gona pay for all of this. Ya hear? ALL of this."

Dally continued with his 'enriched, colorful' vocabulary for a little while.

I saw the look on Johnny's face and the tone of his voice every time he spoke something about the Socs. It sounded one of two ways- 1. like he was going to cry, or 2. like he was gona' explode from anger.

I know Johnny is usually scared, but he sounded furious with the Socs now. He almost sounded like Dally- even the expression on his face. '_What is he going to possibly do?' _The question was really bothering me. Pretty soon he sounded madder than I've heard him before.

"WHAT IS THE SOCS DEAL? THEY'RE ALWAYS COMIN' OUTA NOWHERE TO TRYTA' FUCKIN' KILL US OR SOMETHING. THEY'VE GOT EVERYTHING THEY WANT, AND EVERYTHING THEY DON'T NEED. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST DIE IN A FUCKIN' HOLE OR SOMETHING..."

"Whoa- take it easy Johnny..." I said cutting him off and trying desperately to calm him down. He put his head in his hands, leaning forward, and sighed.

"I'm sorry. And sorry y'all hadta' hear that... it's just that..." he paused a second and wiped his eyes. So I figured he was starting to cry again.

"I-I'm just kinda' fed up with the S-Socs an' everything... I-I don't know whata' do anymore..."

"It's okay... you just gota rest some today and take it easy- ya' hear?" I told him hoping to calm him down.

"Yeah..." his voice was hoarse and kind of cracking a little.

He wiped his eyes again and I put my arm around him. "It'll be ok" I said trying to comfort him.

He let out a quivering breath, looked at me and half smiled. Then said "thanks Pony..."

Dally got up and sat on the other side of Johnny and pulled him over more towards him and held him. Ugh... Dally just has to make me jelous. Why _am _I jelous- I never used to be jelous of any one- well, I guess it's normal, on account of it _is_ Johnny...

Johnny leaned on him- and I don't know why, but that made me more jelous. This is REALLY buggin' me. 'I can't stay here any longer' I thought. I said "I'm goin' to school, see y'all later!"

**(Dally's POV)**

When I woke up, it was quiet. No wonder- Two-Bit wasn't awake yet. I looked up and saw Johnny and Pony- Pony had his arm around Johnny! WHAT an asshole of a kid. Probably thinkin' he could mess around with Johnny... if he tries ANYTHING funny with him, I'm going to flatten him like roadkill.

I just about had it with Pony. I pulled Johnny away from Pony and held him- he looked so upset still. And I knew that he wasn't going anywhere today- not even school. But he doesn't go there much anyway; unlike Pony who has barely missed a day in his life.

And thank fuckin' god that he is leaving now. Aw, shit, don't thank god, he don't exist in the fuckin first place! Pony let the door slam behind 'im and he ran off down the street. I don't get that kid, he's always runnin' and nothin' to actually run from.

He don't got the fuzz on his trail or nuthin'. He's on the track team and he runs _to_ school? Wow. His mind is fucking screwed, isn't it... that whole thing is pointless.

But at least he's gone. Now I don't needta' bother with that little mystery of a kid.

"Hey, Johnny?"

"Yeah Dall?"

"What'd they do to ya's anyway?"

"Oh... well... they all had blades, an' they found stuff layin' around..."

"Like...?"

"Peice of pipe... an' bottles and stuff..."

"Fuckin damn Socs... you okay?" I already knew that he was okay, but I meant that in that 'mental' way or whatever- you know how it is. Johnny usually gets scared easy; and he get real jumpy, too.

He didn't answer, but he leaned more on me, and I gave him a quick squeeze. "It's okay... you know I won't let them within' spittin' distance of ya' again."

I would've been cursing like hell out loud, but Johnny was still a bit shook up with all the stuff going on around here, so it's best not to. Normally I wouldn't give a shit of what the others think- but it's Johnny; and I can cool it for him. Only him.

And this is one of those rare moments I can actually hang close to Johnny without anyone's opinion. Not that I give a shit about their opinions anyway- but I don't want em' thinkin' that I'm going soft or nothin'. And I don't wana be like Two-Bit and be fuckin' obvious about it.

When Johnny knows how I'm thinking about 'im, then I can tell him and actually make a move. But not yet, I need to know if Johnny likes me like that. If he don't- then thats gona be a real downer. Whatever. I'll find out soon enough.

Whatever he does... it just drives me CRAZY for him. I still can't figure out what it is. But even when he just smiles it makes me wana' ravish him or something. I'm not sure how much longer I can wait with this... but for Johnny's sake I'll try to keep it to myself.

**(Johnny's POV)**

Dally's acting... different. I can't quite place my finger on it, just, different. He's still mean, tough and cold... But not around me. When it's just me an' him, then he's not mean _or_ cold. He's still tough (and tuff)- but that's something I don't want him to change anyways. I'll have to worry about that another time though.

It hurts everywhere; like HELL. Honestly, I'm still tireder than anything else. And leaning on Dally made me feel... safe. 'Cause I know he's there and won't let nuttin' bad happen. Plus, he don't seem to mind.

And from all that; I don't feel too good. I havn't eaten in a whiles, and I usually do eat _something_. Just not a lot of it. Unless I really am hungry, like right now. I'm too tired to eat anything though. I want Soda here... I want them all here. I don't know why. I want Pony and Darry and Soda all here.

It's not like I don't feel perfectly fine around just a few people... but after I got jumped; again; I'm not really feelin' too hot on being without the whole gang. I don't know why- but this happens all the time when something bad happens. I can't stand to be away from the gang.

Except Steve. I'm mad at him- I'll get over it, though. But as of now, I don't wana' see him. I don't feel good and I'm really tired, and I don't want his opinions and rudeness. And I got NO idea what I did wrong! I can't think of it! And it's buggin' me more than anything.

But I'm gonna' ignore that- I have better stuff to worry about. My ribs were killin' me more than ANYTHING at the moment. No, it's how tired I am... No... ughh... I can barely think strait! I heard Dally saying something...

"Johnny- you feelin' alright?"

"hm?"

"are you feelin' alright?"

"yeah- kinda..."

I lied. I was ready to scream 'NO. NO I'M NOT. I FEEL LIKE SHIT.' but I didn't. I think he said something else, but I was too tired. I couldn't stay awake much longer- and my eyes felt as heavy as a ton of bricks. They closed gradually and I could hear Dally still saying things- but he was whispering; and I wasn't going delusional.

I want the gang here... I want them all here... I love Dally, don't get me wrong, I really do. I just want **everyone** here still... but Dally- and sleeping Two-bit- is better than nothing...

/.../.../.../.../.../.../.../

yeah, I know, this chapter is kinda half pointless, but whatever. Next chapter will be up when I can- (:


	7. Fights

Ya know- same old stuff- same old, same old. Some characters are out of character, still not too great with "story construction" and grammar and all that… I know I know, its not new news to you… (:

Sorry it took so long to write- I had no time to write it; I was real busy and then when I could… I got writers block… well, here it is anyway (:

P.S. Sorry that this chapter is insanely long.

**AND I will put the next chapter when I get around to it. Sorry for the WAY super-long wait! SO SORRY! My life is very hectic at the moment. ):**

--

****

(Soda's POV)

FINALLY. Work is over! Johnny, here I come! Steve had to drive me home, though. He picked me up on the way to work this morning- so now he has to drop me off on his way home. He'll come over if he wants to; and if he's not going to bug Johnny like he did _last_ night.

Steve is in a better mood today, so I think he won't bug Johnny as much; I hope. I think he is in this good mood because I kept making the stupidest mistakes at work today; and on the way into his car I slammed the door and got the edge of my shirt caught in the door. He thought that was pretty damn funny…

When Steve parked the car, I jumped out. But I tripped and fell flat on my face-

"Glory! Soda! What is up with you today!" Steve said laughing at me.

"I'm really out of it…" I said picking myself up, ignoring his laughter.

I walked into the house- followed by Steve. Johnny was asleep leaning on Dally. That's odd. Dally can't stand affection- much less anything like somebody leaning on him… oh well.

Two-Bit was watching Mickey while drinking beer. Pony was most likely in his room doing homework, and Darry wasn't home yet.

I decided not to wake up Johnny, or disturb Dally. The last thing I need is Dally trying to break my head in… I guess Johnny was okay all day… maybe I shouldn't have worried so much… I still didn't want to leave him though.

I threw my uniform shirt on the couch as always and almost collapsed on the couch, next to Johnny. He didn't even move an inch. Boy, he must've been real tired… pretty damn cute like dat' though!

If he wakes up by the time Darry is home, then we can take off the bandages from his face. I doubt he likes them there anyway. And I wana' see those three marks- they looked painful, but tuff.

I let out a big sigh. "So… Dally…"

"Yeah?" he said not even looking in my direction.

"Johnny wake up or anythin'?"

"Yeah, for _almost 20 _minutes." He said, sounding sarcastic, with that oh-so-familiar glare in his eyes.

"How's he holdin' up then?" I asked as if it were a question plastered on the wall right in front of his face…

"Ehh… He's a'ight" He said coolly.

"Well, then…" I said kinda' uncomfortable around the deafening silence around us; other than the blasting TV.

"I'm gona' take a shower 'afore Dare come's home."

"Don't come cryin' to me when ya' get soap in yer' eyes. Have fun." Dally answered without even looking over to me; and looking at the TV with a look of disapproval of Mickey still being on.

And with that; I headed to take a shower and get that car oil out of my hair- I had no idea how that happened anyway- but Steve said it was a "miraculous thing of nature; and that's what happens when you leave a guy like myself at the gas station for a day."

Sometimes I think that there's a bit of Two-Bit in him… a little piece in most of us, actually. Even Dally has his moments. Although, his moments _are_ very rare… Well, I better pay attention to what I'm doing if I don't want to kill myself by accident in the shower…

****

(Steve's POV)

Soda sure was antsy at work today… he didn't even realize the girls flirting with him, and he made the STUPIDEST mistakes. But, damn, that was funny.

Even when we first got there this morning, he had his head in the clouds about something. He was acting all 'worried' the whole time. And he almost let a car drive away with it still hooked up to the gas tank!

I knew it was Johnny- he's always worryin' about him. Like when he slammed the door on his DX shirt and it almost ripped when he tried to slide over in his seat, and when he jumped out of the car and fell flat on his face… wow that was GOLD. I sure did wish I had that on a video camera or something, just to show him how funny that truly was.

I figured that Soda could appreciate a good laugh right about now. But he's taking a shower- he'll be out in five minutes though. Probably having trouble getting that oil out of his hair- car oil that is. Not to mention he was already wearing hair oil also… I still have no idea how he got that ALL over his hair.

I sat down in ol' superdope's chair; before he comes home. He's overprotective of that chair. I don't get why. He only lets stupid Ponyboy and Johnny sit there… When _he's_ not sitting there anyway. But sometimes he lets them sit on one of the arms of the chair.

Well, Sodapop came walking into the room, trying to put on his shirt, with the kid followin' him like he couldn't leave his room without his older brother. Really, Pony's gotta' grow up. He's really grown up a lot, but he still don't use his head an' acts like a kid _all_ the time.

I saw Johnny fidget closer to Dally- probably waking up. Wait! What the hell? DALLY. Why would Dally allow Johnny to be up so damn close to 'im! Whatever- it's still him. He's got that cold, icy, glare in his eyes, looking quite disgusted with Two-Bit laughing at the TV.

"Steve, would it kill ya' to keep yer' fuckin' eyes on somethin' aside from me?"

I just realized that he was talking to me. I just ignored him, seeing as how odd that sounded.

"Soda- ya' wana go somewhere, outa' this damn house?"

"Nah… and I should probably start dinner now, ya stayin'?"

"Naw, my old man'll kill me if he don't see my ass home today. See y'all later."

I left knowing that nothing exciting would happen here, unless Soda made another mistake while cooking dinner. But he'll be busy worrying about freakin' Johnny now. I don't wana sit around watching that shit. Plus, I don't wana get beat that bad by my old man today. I don't feel like puttin' up with it…

Johnny still deserved **at least **getting that punch I had for him. I was happy he got that little run-in with those Socs. If he didn't have that, then I'd have to go look for him and slap some sense into him or something.

Don't be catchin' the wrong drift from me though, I wouldn't want the kid dead, but seeing someone who's always in the way and pissing ya' off get hurt… yeah, that just made my day- that is until Soda started to only pay attention to Johnny. That sucked.

****

(Johnny's POV)

I heard the door slam, LOUDLY. And I almost jumped out of my skin, with a gasp. I could've sworn it was some Socs… just me and my imagination and dreaming again, thank glory.

"Hey, Johnny! It's just Steve leavin'!" Dally said.

"Sorry…" I said embarrassed. Then feeling myself flush beet red as I realized I was still leaning on Dally, with everyone else looking. So I tried to sit up by myself- that was hard. It hurt. A LOT.

Soda smirked a bit at me and said "How're ya' feeling now?"

"SODA! Yer' home!" I said finally realizing it and squishing him in a hug.

"Yeah-" He said sounding short on air.

I let him go and said "S-sorry, I had a bad dream… a-and y'all n-never came back from work… I-it was so real, too…"

"Aww, Johnnycakes, don't worry, I ain't going nowhere." He said putting one arm around me.

"It's just a dream…" he assured me.

"Yeah, I guess…" I said with a sigh.

"Okay, well, I'm gona go make dinner now. Pizza good?"

"Sure, I'm STARVING."

Soda smiled and strolled off into the kitchen. Pony followed him- probably to help him or something…

Pretty soon, the aroma of pizza filled the house. I hadn't realized how good pizza smelled before… I brushed my hair out of one of my eyes- it wasn't bugging me, but it was the most I could do right then.

Darry came walking in the door- lemme' tell ya, boy, he looked beat. If I didn't feel so lousy and wasn't so mad, I would've cared enough to ask why. But I just feel kinda bitchy now. I don't care what the others say if they hear me cursing and everything.

Darry might yell at me, but nothing I can't handle. I don't care if he does. And- WHY THE HELL AM I THIS MAD. I've never felt like this before… Genuine hate. I've never felt it. Not even towards my parents. Not until now anyway.

Maybe this is how Dally feels all the time… Now I know why he never cared much about anything, and why he liked getting into fights. It's how he vents. And if I wasn't hurting as much as I am, I'd be looking for a pretty damn good fight right about now.

Dinner was quiet, until Pony almost choked on his pizza talking… "WHOA! Johnny, you must've been HUNGRY."

Like I said, I am feeling real bitchy right now... "Whats'it to ya… ain't seen nobody eat a damn peica' pizza 'afore?!"

"Johnny…" Darry said scolding my 'bad language'… too bad for him that that's not even bad talking if you ask me. He'd be surprised if he heard me actually cursing-

I didn't even say sorry. I didn't need to. And I could feel my eyes just blazing, it's the weirdest feeling. Like, it's like nobody can tell you what to do, and yer' at the top. Even if I ain't there yet, I like the feeling. Maybe that's why Dally's eyes are blazing when he's mad… does every ones?

I pondered the question for a while… I came to a conclusion. No. Ponyboy's eyes were never blazing like that, and as far as I know, Soda's and Two-Bit's never have either.

I used to care about that stuff- about how the others would react to how I act around them. I don't know, now I really don't care. _Not_ caring after caring about EVERYTHING for so long; it's just so strange. It's so strange that it seems new. And you ALWAYS have to try something new.

I guess it's my turn- and I really don't mind. I don't feel like it would matter, maybe it'll get all of their feelings fer' me straitened out. This, maybe this'll be a good thing… What do I know. Maybe it's all a big mistake…

Oh, shoot. I don't care, I've made PLENTY of mistakes before. It couldn't hurt. Just ask fuckin' Steve. He think's **I'm** just a big mistake. I'll show him who the big fuckin' mistake is… he'll be sorry and realize that I'm tougher than that pansy is.

…Okay, he may not be a pansy. But I'm gona show him I'm _more _than he _thinks _I am. And that ain't much. In fact, that's nothing at all. That asshole…

****

-after dinner-

I ate _almost_ five pieces of pizza; you should BET that surprised everyone. I usually only eat one, and two if I'm real hungry. I wasn't totally full, I can't stand that feeling for some reason. I only eat till I'm _comfortably _full.

I was kinda' getting pissed off by that big peica' gauze on the side of my face. I'd rather just have my three "tiger-claw" cuts showing than that stuff… and I was still feeling bitchy.

"Soda, can I take off this fuckin' gauze from my face- it's annoying the frekin' hell outa me!"

Darry looked at me in disapproval. I simply glared at him- might I say, VERY coldly. He looked utterly stunned.

"Johnny- watch your language. I think we went through this when you **first** got here…" He said reminding me of that long talk… I can remember it like it was yesterday… Okay, not exactly. But I remember MOST of it… I wasn't paying much attention while he was telling me that whole thing…

--

"_Johnny, there's a few rules you must know about our house here…"_

"_Okay… they are?"_

"_No sneaking girls… NO alcohol WHATSOEVER. And NO, ABSOLUTELY NO CURSING. NO drugs, of ANY KIND… and all the obvious… I don't want ANY bad influences for Ponyboy or anything…"_

"yeah yeah yeah…" I said ignoring what Darry was sayin' to me.

"Oh, c'mon Johnny, don't be such a wise ass…" Two-Bit said jokingly, while smiling.

I knew he was joking, I really did. But I was seriously in that bitchy mood still.

"Shut yer' fuckin' trap, Keith."

"Oh! John-ee! No needta' get mouthy! Geez, I'm only joking…"

"Yer' ALWAYS joking…" I muttered crossing my gauze wrapped arms over my gauze wrapped chest. Wow, I really am a mess…

"Aww… no need to be Mr. Grumpy today!"

"SHUT YER' TRAP YOU ASSHOLE."

"Johnny! What did I just say?" Darry said cutting into the conversation.

"I don't fuckin' remember… I wasn't listenin' to ya'"

"Johnny, I know you feel pretty lousy, but you don't have to act so-"

"I don't have to? I don't _HAVE _to. But I am. So deal with it superdope." I said glaring at him.

"JOHNNY." He said sorta' loudly- then sighed. "Okay… you know I love ya' and I understand yer' hurt and a bit mixed up… but please. Save the Dally-attitude, please?"

"Wow. So now Dally has an attitude named after 'im… that's nice." I said sarcastically.

"Johnny. Quit it." he said in a harsh and firm voice.

I huffed out an angry breath and rolled my eyes at him. I could feel everyone staring at me-

"What?" I asked nobody in particular… Okay, so I _demanded_ 'what'… but ya' know- still…

"Johnny, are you okay?" Soda asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Why."

"Are you sure… yer' kinda' actin'…"

"Actin' what?"

"You know… different…" he said pausing in between words.

I glared at him. I didn't want to put up with this shit of them all saying 'Yer' actin different… you sick? What's this all about?' and all those questions.

****

(Soda's POV)

Glory- Johnny must be feeling REALLY bad. He's got this whole attitude and cursing thing going on… like Dally always does. I hope he's not seriously getting into that though. I'll always love Johnny, no matter what he does. But, I'd hate to see him end up like Dally.

I know he looks up to Dally- but I don't want him to _be like him._ He's not supposed to be rude, loud and havin' that look like "I shouldn't be here, I hate ev'ryone and everything 'ere, this sucks."

Johnny is- and always was- quiet, sensitive, and kept to himself. He always had that suspicious look in his eyes, and is always worried of what others think. Except now. It's not how he's supposed to be.

Well, since he started the cursing because of those bandages on his face- I went to take it off. He still looked real mad- his eyes were flared with anger. Blazing like Dally's. But, I know that somewhere in there, Johnny is still on the edge of crying. It's just that part of him that's hiding now…

"Whata' ya' say when someone does something nice for ya' Johnny?" Two-Bit asked after I took off the bandages

"I can tell _you_ to shut the fuck up…"

"Noooo… that's not it silly!"

"What the hell?"

"That's not it either…" he scolded with that smile on his face.

"Two-Bit. Shut up."

"That's not it either!"

"TWO-BIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"HEY. No cussin' in the house baby!"

"OH MY GOD. SHUT YER MOUTH."

"What do you say to Soda?"

"Thank you…" he mumbled.

"SAY IT LOUDER!" Two-Bit yelled.

"COME ON. YOU'RE LUCKY I SAID IT AT ALL!"

"SAY IT LOUDER OR I'LL KICK YOU!"

"LIKE THAT NEVER FREKIN HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. GO AHEAD!"

"Oh, Johnny… just ignore him. He's just having a little laugh the Two-Bit way…" I said while ruffling his hair.

"Two-Bit's being stupid, what else is new?" Dally piped up.

"You could try Johnny's attitude. What is up with that? Really, Johnny… why?" Pony said quietly.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! WOULD Y'ALL JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT?! JUST FUCKIN DROP IT. WHO CARES!?" He shouted.

"Johnny… We care, we ALL do. That's why we're buggin' you about it" I said.

I figured that I was on his good side as of now; seeing as how he's acting to all the others. So, he didn't make a big deal out of what I told him that. If some one else did then he'd probably be on his feet by now, threatening to smash their heads in.

I held him leaning against me; against his will; while stroking his hair. He still looked real angry, but I could see the hint of sadness in him. I don't think the others could see it, though. They just stayed exactly where they were, looking either shocked or confused.

But Ponyboy looked sad. Johnny never yelled at him before- in fact he hardly ever yells. I'll have to talk to him about that later to make sure he's okay with this though.

"Well- I'm going to Buck's… don't go killing each other while I'm gone; that's my job." Dally said as he walked out the door.

"Yeah, well, I should be getting home- my mom wants me home today… see y'all tomorrow!" Two-Bit said as Mickey Mouse ended.

"Alright, Two-Bit" Darry said while reading the paper from this morning.

Ponyboy took Dally's seat on the other side of Johnny- he looked really nervous about sitting next to him though. But he took out a book and started reading like usual.

"Johnnycake…" I said, and he just groaned a little.

"Were they giving you trouble today?" I asked trying to get to the source of this Dally-attitude.

"Of course they were! Two-Bit's always like that!"

"Aww… it's okay… and you don't have to get so fired up about it…"

"What do you mean?" He got me there. He's gona end up mad at me also…

"Oh, come on. You're never like this. And you know it. Is it cause of Two-Bit, or the socs… or cause you feel lousy?"

"UGH. Why don't y'all just quit talking about it!" He said with his voice rising and pushing away from me.

"Johnny… please, don't be mad at me too! I'm trying to help here…" I said trying to sooth him and stop his 'bad mood'.

"OK. Sodapop."

That was a bad sign. Johnny never calls me Sodapop unless something is wrong, or if he's real mad. This is seriously bad, this is terrible. I hope he's gona' be better in the morning… I gave him a little squeeze.

"Please don't be mad…"

"Mm…" he groaned a little.

"Pleeeeeaaase? Baby, don't be mad at me! Pleeeaase!?"

"Soda…"

"Tell me!"

"C'mon Soda… don't be so-"

"Please? Are you mad? Tell me! Please!?" I said pouting at him.

"Soda… quit it."

"Please Johnnycake!" I said, then squeezed him in a hug.

"Ughh, Soda!"

"Puh-leeeeeez!" I begged. I knew he wasn't mad at me, but this is fun as heck! And plus, he's not getting mad or anything.

"Okay, okay! Golly Soda, yer' gona kill me!"

I just realized that he was still hurt, so I loosened my grip on him a little.

"Sorry, I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked worriedly.

"Naw… it's okay… and-" he paused a moment while breathing funny, "I ain't mad at you."

"I knew it…" I said before kissing his head.

I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world- People can never stay really mad when I try to cheer 'em up. It means more to me when it's Johnny; he was mad at everyone, and he actually let me calm him down a bit. He's still got that look in his eyes like he's gona kill someone, but hey, he's not mad at me. Thank glory he's not mad at me. Nobody was ever really mad at me 'afore. And I don't want that to start now.

"C'mon, Soda, Pony- go to bed you two…"

"But-" I started to protest, but he looked angry, and it's best not to argue with him when he's angry. Pony obediently did as he was told and walked towards his room.

"Sodapop. Go to bed…" he pleaded.

"Okay…" I sighed, letting go of Johnny.

I hoped to GOD Darry wouldn't yell at him; Darry tries to keep his head, but when somebody starts acting up like that, he looses his head real fast. Johnny'll be fine… he still had that look, but I could also see helplessness. This better not get worse.

****

(Johnny's POV)

UGH. Everyone, I SWEAR was on my last nerve today! I couldn't help myself and starting talking like Dally does. Everyone acted a bit surprised but who cares. They were all being assholes today. Except good ol' Soda, and Dally, but he didn't do much today.

Darry told Soda and Ponyboy to go to bed; that's NOT a good sign. And I feel like I'm gona explode right now! Damn- here it comes…

"Okay, Johnny. Why are you acting like this?"

"Okay, Darry. Why are you talking like this?" I repeated just to get on his nerves.

"Johnny. Listen to me."

"No."

"You can't act like Dally just because you feel like shit man, and you can't go around cursing, ESPECIALLY in front of my brothers. I don't want you like this-"

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT OF ME? DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A FREKIN CRY BABY AND NOT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS? HUH? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?!" I yelled.

"JOHNNY. QUIT IT. LOOSE THE ACT. I'M TIRED OF THIS. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FIGHTING AND YELLING I GOTA DEAL WITH ALREADY?!"

"NOT AS MUCH AS I DO." I yelled getting on my feet. Which I regretted as soon as I did; because it hurt like fuckin' hell again. Darry was already on his feet, so he didn't do much to make himself 'more of an authority'.

Not wanting to make a deal out of this to the others, he yelled at me sternly in a whisper. I don't know how else to explain that- yelling in a whisper. But I hope ya get what I'm throwing atcha'.

"Johnny. I work long and hard. I do NOT come home to be pissed off by my kid brother. I don't know what the hell's gotten into you, but you gota' quit it RIGHT NOW. The gang is worried and confused with what the fuck you're acting like. You've GOT to drop it."

"WELL HOW'D YOU LIKE TO LIVE LIKE THIS?! WHY DO YOU THINK I ALWAYS STAYED AT THE LOT. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M ALWAYS JUST LISTENING TO Y'ALL. I TRIED NOT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE JUST GETS ON MY BACK ABOUT IT. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS SHIT?!"

"JOHNNY."

"Don't you 'Johnny' me! You don't know the stuff I have to deal with when yer' out at fuckin' work all day!? HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO ACT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO. I CAN LIVE ON THE FUCKING STREETS IF YOU WANT. JUST TELL ME TO GET OUT AND I'LL BE GONE. OKAY?!"

I felt tears of anger, frustration and sadness growing in my eyes. I couldn't stand much more of this- it'd be impossible to live like I used to if everyone kept yelling at me like this.

"No. Johnny. Johnny. Look at me when I'm talking to you."

I hadn't realized that I wasn't even looking at him now. I didn't actually care. I wanted to punch him so bad. I wanted him to just leave. Leave and NEVER come back. I don't care if its not what I'll want in the end. It's what I want now, and I don't want to deal with this. Shit. Now I'm starting to tremble a little. Darry's going to know I'm starting to cry- how come I'm like this? I never cried for no reason. I never really cry actually.

"Johnny…" his voice wasn't sounding that angry anymore and I know he'd see that tear fall. That one fucking damn tear.

He went to put his arm around my shoulders but I pushed it away.

"No…" I said quietly but firmly.

"Johnny… come on, Johnnycake…" he went to put his arm around me again, but I just sat back down on the couch before he could get his arm around my shoulder. I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes for a minute breathing slowly- hoping it'd make the burning in my chest stop.

I felt the couch sink next to me- Darry sat next to me and sighed while finally being able to put his arm around me. I wanted to just cry into his chest like I had before- and at the same time I wanted to push him away. I didn't know what to do. Thinking about it only made it worse; and it gave me a headache.

I knew that blazing look in my eyes was gone and the feeling of anger was being flooded by the feeling of sadness and guilt. If this was a life decision, I would never be able to make it. So much for that.

"Go away Darry." I said firmly through tears.

It must've surprised him because he took his arm off of me and I could feel him staring at me.

"Johnny… you know-" I cut him off,

"Leave me alone Darry." I repeated.

He took a long, deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Johnny-"

"I WANT TO BE ALONE." I nearly shouted at him and I could feel that blazing feeling coming back to my eyes.

He sighed and got up, and headed down the hallway. I just sat there a minute with my head in my hands. I didn't know if I should be angry- because everyone's being so stupid, or if I should be sad- because the way Darry just stalked off, or if I should be happy- because I just won against Darry.

I heard voices down the hallway- that I recognized as Soda's. As I predicted; Soda came walking into the room. Darry musta' noticed he was the only one I let calm me down and talk to me.

"Hey, Johnnycake…" he said softly.

"Hi." I said flatly.

"I… uh… I heard you and Darry…"

"W-what's your point?" I asked, stammering on one word because of the lump in my throat.

I saw Darry's shadow on the wall; he was trying to be a snoop and find out what's going on. Ughh… he's desperate or something, I swear.

"Baby, are you okay?" he said as he sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

"No…" I said actually telling him the truth.

"You don't really want to be alone do you?" he asked quietly.

I slowly shook my head no as I felt a few tears slip off my cheeks. He held me closer to him and rubbed my back slowly when I started bawling. How can I be such a baby in front of Soda, and nobody else? Why am I not mad at him? I'm mad at everyone else… even though I know I love them all… well, other than Steve anyway.

"Why are you mad…" he whispered in my ear.

I mumbled into his shirt- "Everything. Everyone. Life's no good. Back at the church I coulda' swore there was good in it… now I can't see none."

"Yes there is… there a lots of good in it…" he said as he pulled me onto his lap.

"Like what, Soda. What? Name one thing…" I sobbed into his shirt.

"Like you. And Pony. And Darry and the rest of the gang… we stick together no matter what. I'll love you no matter what. Darry ain't mad at you. Even Ste-" I cut him off.

"Don't even say his name." I said. He started rocking me back and forth a little.

"W-whata' ya mean like me?"

He waited a minute and then said,

"I mean you. Ya' know, everyone is always locked up and always getting in the cooler and robbing places and setting bad examples and stuff… and you're not like that. Yer' always staying out of trouble and always watchin' the sunset and stars and stuff. You're different. You care what others tell ya and what they think, and you always try to make the best of what ya' got. And, I dunno… you're just… special. Ya know that?"

I didn't know what he was getting at there- was he saying I'm special like as a person… or did he… you know, just tell me he likes me?

I just sat there leaning on him silently crying for a little. After a few minutes I whispered…

"Does Darry hate me now?"

"Naw… he don't hate you. He won't ever hate you. And if somebody ever did, then I'd skin them alive if they ever hurtcha'!"

"How come-" he cut me off as if he was reading my mind.

"You can't cry in front of everyone else?"

"Because… you're special, too…" I said still crying a little.

"Awww… Makes me even more sad to see you hurt like this now dammit!" he said holding me tighter.

"It hurts, Soda…" I mumbled.

"I know baby… shh…" I felt him combing through my hair and I closed my eyes; while still crying into his shirt. Soda's a lifesaver… I love him, he always knows what to do. He'd never yell at me like Darry had earlier, and I think he just told me that he likes me... Well, no jumping to conclusions I guess.

We sat there for what seemed like forever, until I finally gave in to the sleepiness.

****

(Darry's POV)

Me and Johnny yelled at each other- he never yelled at any one in the gang and I never yelled at him before. It was terrible; now that I'm looking back on that. I tried talking to him, but he didn't want to talk to me. So I told Soda to talk to him for me; and I just waited around the corner of the hallway so he wouldn't see me.

Every now and then I'd look over to see what was going on; and when I looked over at them Johnny was on Soda's lap and I could hear him sobbing faintly. Soda's the only one who could calm him down- everyone else just made it worse.

After a while, Soda picked him up- he was sound asleep. He had a long day… Soda took him into his room and I said good night; then went to bed myself. I really screwed it up big time… he needs somebody to hold him and to tell him it'll be okay, and all I did was yell at him. I am NOT going to be able to sleep tonight knowing that.

And with that- I took off my shirt and climbed into bed. 'I hope he's not going to be mad at me anymore… What would I do if he is? What if he hates me forever?' My mind went on and on as the clock ticked away…

--


End file.
